Last week I spent quite a bit of time in meditation. At one point I started thinking about soulmates. One version of people's belief in soul mates is that two people are a part of the same oversoul, and that's why they have such a strong connection. I started thinking about how you wouldn't want to hurt your soulmate, because you'd be hurting a piece of your own soul. While I was sitting with that thought, and the emotions of it, a picture of a hierarchical tree formed in my mind. I literally laughed out loud as I realized that, just as we can be pieces of the same oversoul, those oversouls are all pieces of the same oversoul above that - God! I laughed out loud because I realized our over souls are just pieces of god, I was thinking only one level up the tree. You could instead say that we are all pieces of the same oversoul.......God.
Then at another time during that meditation I was thinking about how to help your soulmate. I started getting pictures of vibrations, and realized that to help your soulmates, you raise your own vibration, which will raise the vibration of those around you. You don't have to actively interfere with anyone in your life. You just have to raise your own vibration. That will raise the vibration of those around you, and thus you will be raising the energy of God.
So how do you raise your energy level - what do you do? This has been something I've struggled with my whole life. What should I be doing to fulfill my highest potential. I don't know how I received this realization, but it came to me that I shouldn't ask what I should be doing. I should instead ask who I can BE. When you ARE an enlightened individual, those around you can't help but be affected. I'll have to explore who I specifically want to be in a later post - for now I'm going to go deeper into this do vs be realization.
In order to BE a better person, I must always be conscious of my actions, words, and thoughts. I must know myself, what thoughts motivate my behavior and words. As I thought about this it essentially came down to: Always thinking of what person I'm being = conscious living = meditation.
Further thinking into who I wanted to be brought me to the teachings of Christianity: love your neighbor as your self, judge not, etc. I realized that Christianity actually mapped out how to be a better person. That was the core message hidden among all the other crap that came along with it. Christianity and western religions explained WHAT to do, but didn't do a very good job with WHY to do it. The motivation was wrong. People read the bible and figure they have to "be good" so they can get into heaven. This leads to selfish "do good" behavior, judgement of others who "aren't gonna get into heaven", and leads to a clear distinct separation between planes of existence - you're stuck here on earth until you die, then you suddenly jump to the next level.
On the other hand, Eastern religions got the WHY right - raise your vibration so you can exist on higher planes of existence, and you can continuously improve yourself, and access those higher planes of existence as you live your life. It takes a certain level of purity and consciousness to be able to see auras, channel higher beings, astral travel, be psychic, etc.
But eastern religions didn't explain the WHAT/HOW very well. I read that all these things are possible, experienced astral travel a few times, but from what I read, it was simply: meditate, think of nothing but your breath to quiet your mind, and you will raise your vibration. That lesson may be true, but it doesn't seem to be working the way I thought it would. Nowhere in that lesson was the mention of how to change your everyday behavior to be a better person. I see now, in writing this, that that's what's happening for me, but it seems like that little piece: "meditation will make you have realizations that will assist you in BEING a better person, just like Jesus taught", could have been spelled out a little clearer in all the books I've read.
I've discovered lucidology.com, a website dedicated to showing people ways to achieve astral projection, and I'm REALLY excited about it. All of the lessons they teach make perfect sense with what I've already experienced - I just didn't practice that way before because I was trying other methods. These methods are actually very much like when I had my first experience - I just didn't apply myself enough to put together a plan like they did. This plan they have sounds like it'll work!
The first time I tried it, I didn't get much success, but I was coming back from a long camping weekend where I didn't sleep well.
The second night I tried it I felt the vibrations VERY STRONG - so strong that they were actually painful, and I had to stop. It'll be interesting to keep going.
After I stopped, I had a dream that I was astrally projecting around Costco, and the people there could see me. They were freaked out because I was so low energy I was floating around like a zombie. Then the dream morphed into somehow that a costco employee put my car through the trash compactor, and I was SO ANGRY that he was dragging his feet on reimbursing me for my car!
Wed, Jan. 9th, 2013, 02:15 pm
I struggled with that in my last meditation. I noticed that my upper chakras were letting energy through only by a small funnel, and realized it had to do with not letting go of control. One of the things Caroly Myss talks about in her book is letting go of the illusion of control of your own life. She says: "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!" As I was struggling with opening my upper chakras, that came to mind, and helped a lot. I have had the idea that if I relinquish control, then it's not me running my life. I'm still wrestling with this idea, but in that moment I was able to let it go, and instantly the energy restriction was gone, and instead of a small funnel of energy, there was a large beam.
The idea is interesting to me right now. I've thought for a long time that we were here on earth to learn experientially, and I thought that had to do with learning from the choices we make. So if we give up our own choice and let it be God's (by listening to our body's energy), aren't we missing out on learning?
This is where Karate really has taught me a lot. I've found that it's not my choices in life that leads to my sense of fulfillment. It's the experiences themselves. I've found that it's pushing through fear that leads to a memorable and fulfilling life, and God will always take you there.
Then there's the idea that 'If it's not my choice, it's not my life.' I think I struggle with this one the most. This is a struggle with pride. Put more directly: 'If it's not my choice, I can't be proud of where I end up'. I think I'm going to be struggling with this one for a long time :(
I actually dealt with another issue of control during last night's meditation. I felt a restriction in my second chakra, and the word 'Mom' came to me. She has been in a lot of pain lately from back and shoulder issues. I keep telling her to get regular massages, and showed her how it can help during Thanksgiving. She went home and got a massage, and got scared off of them because she couldn't move the next day. I want so much for her to keep trying and get better. And that's where the chakra problem lay. I was plugged into trying to control her. Deciding to let that go was interesting. I had developed that desire so much that it felt like if I let it go, she wasn't going to get better. That somehow my wanting her to get better was the only thing that was going to make her better. While I let that restriction go, I cried a little, dealing with the sadness of her not getting better. I know mentally that my holding on to her isn't what's going to help her, but emotionally I had to deal with it. After that, I could still feel some other restrictions, but haven't yet figured them out.
Heather and I downloaded a new audiobook a while ago, and I finally got around to listening to it over the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. It has become my new bible. Carolyn Myss knows SO much and is able to explain it in such simple terms.
One of the ideas that has changed my life: intuition is not an extraordinary power limited to the few. It is a skill that must be developed by monitoring your energy and how your body feels. Most people are not even remotely aware of where their energy is leaking to: past hurts, resentments, fears, etc. When you become aware of where your energy is leaking, you can fix the leak, and you will have more energy during your days, and a clearer communication with God. Carolyn says: "If there is one thing I want you to take away from this, it's to dedicate yourself to some time every day to realize where your energy is going, and unplug from things that aren't serving you".
To that end, I cleaned out our meditation room during the Christmas break, and am now spending about 1 hour every night listening to Hemi-sync's "Chakra Journey". I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. Before, when I would meditate, I would try to focus on opening my chakras, and trying to get to the "buzzing" state, and eventually try to do a conscious astral projection. It never really got very far, and I would get frustrated and quit. Now I have a new focus: identifying areas of my life where I am draining off my energy by being plugged in to things that aren't serving me. Just in the 8 days I've been practicing, I'm already farther than I ever have been. I've gotten past the stage where my body feels huge, and it has morphed into a ball of energy. This year could get very interesting :)
Woke up around 5:30am, and pet the cats a bit, then started meditation with the iphone app. It seems to be working really well on "astral 4". This time I consciously projected, just to where I climbed out of bed, then got pulled back. I was actually able to do that twice before I couldn't do it anymore, then the 1 hour I set timed out.
Woke up around 4am, started meditation. It started raining, and it startled me because I thought someone was downstairs, so I quickly sat up, and realized I left my body lying down :)
As soon as I realized it though, I started getting pulled back in. Try as I might, I couldn't stay out. I eventually got completely pulled back in.
I'm trying out the 'Astral Dreams' iphone app. It seems to work pretty well. Last night I went to bed late, and naturally woke up at 4am. I snuggled my cat for a little while, then put the iphone app on 'astral 4'. I think that's the best one for me.
I woke up by a bright flash of light, and it made me think the house was on fire. I can't remember too well what happened after that, but I think I went back to sleep, and then woke up again trying to exit my body. A lot of times it's really hard to do, because I haven't separated fully from it. This time I ended up taking my body with me - I woke up fully half sitting up in bed :) I lay back down and I could feel that my lower back was very warm - I think that chakra was being blown open.
I kept at it, and found that I could get to a certain depth in meditation, then I would pop up again. I finally was able to let it go, and I heard a sound: 'gawoosh' in my right ear. I felt myself rise up for a split second, then my body got completely adrenalised, and I lost it for the rest of the night. I knew that was from fear, so I spent the rest of the night trying to soothe my body, reassuring that it and I will be fine. I don't think I completely succeeded though. I still felt the residual tension quite a bit later.
I think I'm making progress! Now I know that I still have body fear holding me back, and I can work on it.
Wed, Mar. 21st, 2012, 10:40 am
Killed in dream
Had a strange dream last night where some sheik was going to abuse a girl, and the girl kept escaping, then I was a guard and spoke up about it, and got a spear through the throat. I freaked out the sheik by continuing to come at him, then I got behedded. I woke up with the thought of being a zombie still chasing after the sheik. Strange.
Mon, Mar. 19th, 2012, 04:16 pm
Woke up at 2am and moved to the guest bed like normal. I think I had quite a few dreams between 2am and 3:30am, but this is the only one I remember:
Heather and I were in a small room and I saw some very black cobwebs in the corner. I think I kind of knew this was a dream, and that they symbolized something, so I cleared them out. Then I saw a long-legged spider on the ceiling, along with a large egg-mound. Then Heather and I were crammed into a corner, and a large green/yellow spider the size of my outstretched hand was on some ledge by my knees. I couldn't get out without getting closer to it, so I slid down the wall, yelling for Mom. I had a towel on my knees, and the spider slowly crawled onto the towel. I wrapped the spider in the towel and threw it to the wall and squished it with my foot. I actually did that foot motion physically, and it woke me up, very creeped out. Upon waking, I knew the spider represented something - I'm usually not afraid in my dreams at all, so this was an unusual occurance. I searched the web with my phone, but the generic dream definitions didn't fit that well. I went to sleep knowing I was going to have to go back there and deal with yet another spider that was in that room, but I never did go back.
More internet research gave me some more insight:
If you kill the spider then this signifies that you are able to work yourself through the feeling of being trapped. This dream is often associated with the metaphor of being trapped. On the positive side this dream means that creativity is your weapon to move on in life.Maybe you are starting to feel trapped in your job or a relationship.
New beginnings in your life are needed if in your dream the situation was not making you feel comfortable. Positive changes are afoot if You confronted the spider in your dream. Yellow spider = Happy, random events, strangeness. If you dream of a spider which is frightening then this shows you need to connect to your inner self – to discover the answers in order to overcome a problem.
Fri, Mar. 16th, 2012, 01:24 pm
3 second obe
I actually got out last night, for a whole 3 seconds. I've been continuing to read the "Adventures Beyond The Body" book, and it suggested that I set my alarm for 3-4 hours of sleep, then get up and move to another location to sleep for the rest of the night, trying to astrally project from then on. It also suggested that I find 3 'targets' - physical objects to focus on that are all in the same room, and focus on them while repeating an affirmation "Now I'm out-of-body".
I chose the three targets to be my flute, crystal bowl, and large crystal chunk in the meditation room. That hadn't been working out incredibly well. I just don't think I had spent enough time in that room. I had noticed better recall of dreams since getting up at 2am and trying to astrally project, though.
Last night I got up at 2am, moved to the guest room like normal, then heard the hot tub motor kick on. Instead of focusing on the meditation room, I instead focused on relaxing in the hot tub. That was a lot easier to imagine myself in, probably because I've spent so much time there.
I woke up from a dream, and decided to try an obe, even though I didn't feel any energy vibrations. Surprisingly, I found I could sit up! I've never been able to do that before. It's always been rolling out, or just finding myself out. I requesting "Clarity Now", and I was able to get completely out. I headed for the door, almost got out to the hall, then snapped back to my body.
So, not a huge victory, but a victory nonetheless. I also found last night while I was going to bed doing my meditation that when I do feel the vibrations and focus on getting out, I get pre-occupied with my breathing, which brings my focus back to my body, which kills the whole process. In the future, I think I need to just forget about breathing, knowing that my body knows how to do that just fine.